Last week I posted about how we are not ready for the baby yet. I meant it in a “having all the supplies and loose ends taken care of” kind of way (and we are making huge progress on that, thank god). Mentally and emotionally, we are ready, as evidenced by what went down this morning.
Me: [stepping out our front door, spotting a giant turd on our porch, and calling back inside to Brian] Did you see the giant turd on our porch this morning?
Me: There’s a giant turd on our porch.
Brian: What? Oh, that. That’s not a turd. It’s a piece of wood Cooper picked up on our walk this morning.
Me. It’s a turd.
Brian: [now outside, looking at the turd] Nah, it’s wood. He picked it up on our walk and carried it for like 20 minutes.
Me: That is not wood. It’s poop!
Brian: [kicking the turd off the porch and watching as it bounces several times & leaves a series of little brown stains on the concrete] Oh, maybe it is poop.
Me: Yeah, that’s poop.
Brian: But he carried it home!
Me: I can’t believe you let him pick that up. It is obviously a turd.
Me: Okay, well, I’m leaving now. Please go brush his teeth.
Brian: Yeah, okay.
[At this point Cooper had come to the front door to see what all the fuss was about and Brian was loving him up. Cooper then attempted to lick Brian’s face/mouth (a usual occurrence in our house – those two make out all the time.)]
Brian: [jerking his face away from Cooper’s] Ugghh! Guuugh!
Look at the grace with which we handled this situation! I didn’t freak out, and Brian didn’t deny that he let our dog pick up a turd and carry it home. We are so ready for whatever parenthood throws our way, right?