Unfortunately these terms can really just be a lot of jargon. Who defines what food is “whole,” “organic,” or “local” anyway? For me, it all comes down to eating real food: something that has recognizable origins and is minimally processed if at all. I also try to choose foods that are grown near where I live because they are fresher and thus more nutritious, and because they have a much lower environmental impact than foods that are shipped from far away. Eating local foods also ensures that we eat seasonally, which I personally believe is better from a health standpoint. Organic is probably another topic that deserves its own post (I actually did an independent study on organic foods my senior year of college!) but the short, very general, answer is that it means the food has been grown sans pesticides and in an environmentally responsible way. Sustainably-raised, the way I use it, refers specifically to meats, fish, and eggs–are the animals raised in ways that are healthy for them and limit the negative environmental impact?

Where am I going with this? Well, something that I’ve wanted to do for a long time is use this blog as a way to disseminate information that could help other people live more consciously and healthfully. Eating is a huge part of everyone’s lifestyle, so it follows that if you want to change your lifestyle, altering your eating habits is part of puzzle. Because I get a lot of questions about what we eat, how to eat healthier, or how to eat whole foods/local foods/etc., I thought it would be fun to start a regular feature here that would highlight some of our meals. Hopefully the photos and descriptions of what we’re eating will inspire you to try something new, or at least entertain you a little bit. I am also going to be posting a lot more recipes here, and while I already have several requests please leave a comment if there is something you want to know how to cook!

When Dylan woke up yesterday morning he had a bright red rash on his cheeks and chin. He had started a medication for thrush two days before, and I was worried that he was having an allergic reaction. I paged his pediatrician and described the situation for her. She was certain that it wasn’t an allergic reaction–apparently that would have likely happened sooner and covered more of his body–so she wasn’t too concerned. He wasn’t bothered by the rash, so there wasn’t an issue there, either. She then told me to keep an eye on it and to call her if it got worse. Then she told me to go get a hydrocortisone cream to apply to it. Huh? So, you want me to watch the rash to make sure it doesn’t get worse while I’m superficially suppressing the inflammation with a steroid cream? Also, just to be clear, you want me to apply this steroid cream to my infant even though the only problem seems to be that it mars his appearance a bit? Oh, okay. That makes perfect sense. I’ll get right on that.

After I got off the phone with the pediatrician, we headed out to buy luggage for an upcoming trip. Our first stop was a strip mall, where there was a fundraiser for juvenile diabetes research. Guess what the fundraisers were selling to raise money for juvenile diabetes research? Cake. I would love to buy a piece of cake to support a disease that has reached epidemic proportions in the US largely because we eat way too much sugar. That sounds great! It would be even better if the cake was the kind of flavorless, sugar-laden, artificially-colored specimen you get from a cheapo grocery store bakery. That would be excellent! I think Brian summed it up best when he said, “What? Are they trying to promote diabetes?”.

We then decided to go to Costco. We thought they might have deals on luggage, and we figured if they carried grass-fed beef or wild salmon then it might be worth it to buy a membership. We should have just turned around and left when we saw the streams of people walking zombie-like out of the store, pushing their supersize carts full of supersize crap. We were reminded of the people in the movie “Wall-E” who float along in their motorized little pods, constantly consuming, oblivious to their surroundings. I felt very naive once we made our way past the jewelry, electronics, and lawnmowers and started checking out the food. Why did I ever think Costco would have grass-fed beef or wild salmon? We walked around a bit, in awe of enormous packages of everything, disturbed by the fact that it is possible to buy mangos, vacuum cleaners, and jeans all in the same place, and then we left. Walking out of there empty-handed felt like the greatest escape. Like, we went to the mecca of over-consumption and didn’t consume anything. Yesss! I just don’t understand how Costco manages to trick people into thinking they are saving money when really they are just buying a bunch of stuff they don’t really need.

The whole experience of our day was sort of jarring, a reminder that we are living a very different life than most Americans, probably different even from a lot of our friends, and that we can be horrified and confused all we want but that doesn’t help anyone. We can complain that everyone else is lazy and uninformed, but unless we are actively trying to motivate, inform, and set a good example of what conscientious, engaged living looks like in a world that is more focused on what is easy than what is healthy or smart, then we are just like those people who were selling cake to support diabetes research. Only worse, because we know better.

I’ve been feeling really overwhelmed and stressed because there is still so much to do before he arrives. My list of things that need doing:

1. buy baby stuff (all we have are the carseat, stroller, and as of today, a dresser)
2. upgrade our life insurance
3. get disability insurance (in my mind, this will mean we never need it)
4. set up a trust for our assets (our wills are outdated and a trust is a better option for us now)
5. a million other things that would totally bore you if I listed them out

In addition to feeling like where will I ever find the time/energy to get on top of things in the next 5 weeks, I’m also feeling like a big (or possibly small, depending on how you look at it) failure because I only gained .7 pounds in the last two weeks. I forgot to chant “Gain weight! Gain weight!” to myself when I was eating and look what happened. I knew I was not consuming enough food, but I naively thought I was doing at least a little better in terms of caloric intake than I had previously. The increase in the size of my belly helped give me a false sense of security; it is so much larger than it was two weeks ago that I was sure I’d put on the 2 pounds Michele had ordered me to gain. Turns out my belly is bigger because the baby has packed on some serious weight (estimate is around 1.5 lbs for him over the past 2 weeks) and is still growing fabulously. That fact coupled with the fact that I basically didn’t gain anything is really bad news. Really bad news made worse by the discovery of ketones in my urine. I know you read this site because you want to know about my urine, so I’m going to tell you all about it. Ketones are a byproduct of the breakdown of fatty tissue. Ketones in the urine basically means that fatty tissue is being broken down in the body. In my case, it means that I am not taking in enough calories for both me and the baby, so he is breaking down my body to get what he needs. Thank god babies are efficient parasites, and that mine seems to be especially efficient, but man, this sucks.

I think it’s important to take a minute here to explain why this lack of weight gain is so bad, especially since we are conditioned to think that being thin, even in pregnancy, is like the greatest thing ever. Women need to store fat during pregnancy for two reasons: 1) to keep up their energy level, and 2) because they will really need it for breastfeeding. Caloric needs for breastfeeding women are even higher than for pregnant women (an extra 600 calories a day compared to 300 per day for preggies). It’s nearly impossible for most breastfeeding moms to get enough calories for two reasons: 1) that’s a lot of extra calories, and 2) they’re busy taking care of their new babies. This is why breastfeeding is directly related to losing the baby weight–the baby literally eats it away! Anyway, if a woman doesn’t store enough fat during pregnancy she will feel more tired both during pregnancy and after the baby’s born, and she may also run into problems with her milk supply. The body needs energy to produce milk, and those pregnancy fat stores are a great source of energy. If a breastfeeding mom isn’t taking in all the calories needed to sustain her and support milk production, her body can rely on fat stores to help out. Since we’ve already discussed how hard it is to actually consume the requisite amount of calories for breastfeeding, it’s easy to see how low fat stores can become a real problem for a breastfeeding mom.

But wait, it gets better! In addition to the overall lack of calories in my diet, a review of my diet records revealed that I don’t eat anywhere near as great as I thought I did. Too much fruit (Hello, sugar! Michele’s words were, “Girl, you are begging for a yeast infection.”), and nowhere near enough protein and fat. I hadn’t really looked at my diet records but when we went over them I was pretty horrified. I ate a lot better before I was pregnant than I do now. I can blame several things for this, including the heat (saps my energy so that eating well is just too much damn effort, also makes me only want to eat fruit or other cold/wet things like popsicles), general third trimester fatigue, pickiness, and rigid ideas about food and eating habits. To my detriment, I am one of those people who will often just not eat if the available foods either don’t match up with my appetite in that moment or don’t satisfy my requirements for what I feel I should be eating.

I’ve realized now that all the old rules don’t apply anymore. I think I’ve mentioned menu planning on this site before; we plan our lunches and dinners every week and then shop based on the meals we’re fixing. This is not a flawed strategy in itself, but my ideas about how the menu should be constructed are in need of major revision. I used to feel that we should alternate carnivorous days and vegetarian days for both variety and budgetary reasons. At this point, having 2-3 vegetarian days a week is just a dumb idea. I need the protein, fat, and calories that come from eating a lot of animal foods on a daily basis. Vegetarians may wish to argue this point. True, vegetables have protein. But the fact is, animal foods have more (a lot more), and are also a better source of fat and calories overall. And since I’m certainly in no danger of overloading on protein, fat, or calories, I think it makes sense to base my diet on the densest sources of these nutrients. Part of this strategy has been to throw my dairy restrictions out the window. I’m sensitive, so this means I now suffer with more congestion than when I wasn’t eating dairy products, but it’s worth it to get the protein, fat, and calories. Generally speaking, I used to try so hard to do everything “right” that I made things very difficult. I need to come to grips with the fact that cooking every single thing from scratch for every meal is not practical and does me more harm than good when I opt to just not eat or to eat something like an apple or a handful of tortilla chips instead of a more nutrient-dense food because of the work involved in preparing the nutrient-dense food.

All of this is to say: I need to step it up, big time. I could go on about the specifics, but really I just need to stop kidding myself and start making my diet my #1 priority. I’ve got 5 weeks until my due date, which is an estimate, I know, but I am really hoping to keep this bun in the oven at least that long so that I have a chance to gain as much weight as possible. My goal is 10 pounds over the next 5 weeks…

First off, I was told I have to quit CrossFit because it burns too many calories, and because she thinks the activity could worsen my abdominal diastasis. Have we talked about the diastasis yet? Basically, the two halves of the outermost layer of my abdominal muscles (the rectus abdominus, best known for looking like a “six-pack” when well-developed) have started to split apart from one another. This is common in pregnancy, it almost always heals up after the baby’s born, and most people don’t even notice when/if it happens. I, however, have been acutely aware of the separation because mine’s a little larger than normal, and because it hurts! This is the price I must pay for having very toned abs pre-pregnancy. I know. Everyone wishes they could have this problem.

So, I broke up with my CrossFit coach this morning, and will stick to the very specific activity limits the midwife prescribed to try to slow my speedy metabolism and get my body to store more fat. I thought I was storing fat! My ass is way bigger and squishier than it’s ever been, and every time I look at it in the mirror I feel proud of my body for knowing how to be pregnant. Apparently what I perceive as a fat ass is, in fact, not. I know. Everyone wishes they could have this problem, too.

Along with limiting my activity, I also need to seriously increase my caloric intake. I knew this, though. For some reason eating has given me the hardest time since I’ve been pregnant. Even though I’m not sick like I was early on, I still have some food aversions and am just pickier than normal. I know I haven’t been eating enough, but it’s been really hard to force myself to eat more. I start to feel ill whenever my blood sugar drops and then often feel nauseous when I do eat, both of which make eating kind of a pain and not something I’m really interested in. Plus, it’s hot here, which definitely decreases the appetite.

In order to get on top of this eating every two hours thing we’re using the air conditioning more (so I don’t get overheated and lose my appetite), and I’m logging my food to keep me on track with eating frequently. My food logs are actually due to the the midwife at my next appointment in two weeks so she can see what I’m eating and how much. She suspects that my diet is too clean and that I need to load up on french fries, ice cream, burgers, milkshakes, etc. She is probably right. When we left her office we went to Hyde Park Bar & Grill and got burgers, fries, and some wickedly delicious peach-buttermilk cake that was served in a pool of fresh cream. So tasty, and satisfying in a way that our quinoa and bean salads are just NOT. The downside was that I wasn’t hungry again for hours, but the upside was that it got me thinking about ways to revise our weekly menus and grocery shopping to get more calories in my body.

Oh! And the last thing I was told I need to do? Everytime I eat I’m supposed to say to myself, “Gain weight! Gain weight!” in an effort to capitalize on the mind-body connection. There are many reasons why I am so much happier with a midwife than I would be with a doctor, but that piece of advice might just top the list!